Writer's Wednesday: Backing Yourself

(Photo: photo bucket)

Standing Up
There's a moment that I suspect happens in every writer's life, like a patch of light that finally enters your being and you understand your own words in a way you never have before.

When that moment happened for me crawled into that very light and did something I've never done before.
I stood up.

The Moment You Back Yourself
Last week I was re-reading the first couple of paragraphs in my WIP and I found myself doing something I always do. I deleted it. (Don't worry, I have backups)
Computer pushed aside, I went to my books shelf and pulled down all the authors I admired and read their first chapters. Then I berated myself for my own flimsy attempt, for every thinking I could write and finally for daring to breathe in the present of these books. (Tell me I'm not the only one who does this?)

Then it happened.
This little voice, kind of shaking, stood up inside me and spoke. (Go with me here)
"Tab, you aren't ever going to write those chapters or even one like them," it said.
I found myself asking why not. (If you don't talk to yourself then I suggest you get started. All sorts of great things are learnt in conversations with ourselves)
"You're not going to write those chapters, " the voice said, "because you aren't those authors. You weren't those authors then and you aren't those authors now, and I hate to break it to you, but you never will be. You are you. And the kind of first paragraph,  first chapter, indeed first book you will write will be one that has never been written before, because YOU are the author. YOU. And you alone."

I thought on that for a long time. Then I agreed with myself. I looked my book squarely in the eye and declare the thing mine. That's right. I owned it. I finally decided to accept that I am a writer whose best is yet to come. Everyday I grow.  There is much to be learnt from other authors, but I finally lost the desire to BE another author. I want to be me. I want my words. They are mine and I like em fine.
The expanding confidence in my work has astounded me. There's less second guessing my writing style, my voice and my unique flow of words on a page. In short, I am embracing me and where I am at on this Carnival Ride that we call The Writing Life.

What about you? Do you back your own work?

Writer's Wednesday: Not all About The Book

It's not all about the book.
That's all I wanted to say today. In the little tradition I have of stripping my life back to the truth bones and showing them for whatever they may be worth, let me explain.

For the last three weeks my book and I have been fighting. It's winning if you must know :)
I joke, but it really isn't funny... for me anyway. I've been sick over the stupid story. Really. I could write a book about not being able to write my book.
Anyway, all that fuss lead me to researching Uganda...yeah, Uganda. (Its a long story, which I won't get into).
I kinda got lost in all the research and hours later found a true story about a blind man who learnt to box. Against all odds he's become one of Uganda's biggest heroes. He still lives in the slums with, oh, half the country, and he still has no real means of supporting his family, but the man is happy. Poor. Dirty. Blind. And happy.

Is he worried about the POV for a book?
Is he concerned about inciting incidences and character arcs?
Does he wonder what supporting characters might present or how their story arcs intertwine?

I'm guessing no.
I'm also guess that the other millions poor, slum dwelling souls have never thought of these concerns either. It's because of my affluence that I get to have these concerns. Here I am in my nice first world country where my children are fed, housed and schooled and I am making myself sick over writing a book.

It's not that writing a book is unimportant, but I kind of lost perspective there for a moment.
It took a poor blind boxer from Uganda to remind me of this simple truth:
It's not all about the book.

What about you? Have you ever found that it was not about the book?
(Oh, and a.. um... friend... wants to know, how do you get out of a writing funk?)

Writer's Wednesday: Latitude

(photo by Tabitha Bird)

"Working writers typically give themselves a lot of latitude in generating a first draft."

~ Ralph Keyes.

Liberate the Guilt

First drafts suck. No matter how much you pre-planned, outlined, sketched or chiselled before you start the writing, the first draft will still suck. I have yet to hear from a writer who outlined until the cows came home and thus managed a perfect first draft. Even the demi-god himself Stephen King goes back and edits his work. All mere mortals must write the Second Draft.

Yet if you read enough books on the craft of writing and listen to many authors you might be forgiven for thinking that outlining was ONE and ONLY true road to book salvation.

But what if you can't get it to work for you?

Then we have something in common.  If like me, you've been feeling guilty because you can't get outlining to work for you, if one size fits all doesn't fit, then this post is for you. I'ma liberate your guilt :)

Not One Size Fits All

Outlining is marvellous. Truly. I see the virtues. I am a convert. Except... it makes the cogs in my head freeze. Suddenly, the character that I could hear so clearly says something like, "Oh well, if you’re going to spend three weeks outlining then, yawn, I'm gone!" And just like that, I have no character and no ideas. Zip. Nothing. Nada.

Write Like You

It would appear that I need a combination of writing blindly and then plotting what I have written so I can see where the story is going. To keep the characters in my head cooperating with me I also need to tell them that no one else will ever read them. (yeah, lying to characters in your head is quite okay).

I also need to sneak up on my writing. When I sit at the computer those people in my head get nervous saying, "Oh crap, she's going to write about us! What if we don't do anything interesting today?"

So, I sit at my computer for ten minutes ignoring my book and doing inane things like checking emails and the all-important update of my Facebook status in case the queen wants to know. (What? She might!)

Eventually, the characters in my head relax and are actually thinking about doing some very intriguing things. If I'm quick, I can get the word document opened before anyone (including me) panics.

What am I saying? I'm saying, write like you.

Need to drink a Coke and then pretend you are writing a novel to your mother in letter form?

Do it.

Need to speak babble into a tape recorder until the story starts to grow and you can later transcribe it as a rough draft?

Do it.

Need to complete a sketchy outline and then jump in at the end and write the story backwards?

Do it.

Need to write a full outline after you have written, and write only after you have played with the dog?

Do it.

You'll Get There Faster on Your Path.

There is more than one path to any destination. Everyone who walks without ceasing eventually gets there and when they do they are all holding a....(drum roll)… Rough Draft!

So, it really doesn't matter how you arrived at it. Does it?

Outlines are wonderful things, but they are there to work for you. You are not there to work for an outline.

Oh, and writing is fun, right? :)

What about you? What works for you when it comes to generating writing or beginning a new book?

Writer's Wednesday: Beware the Lions

(Okay, so this is my chihuahua and her name is Lion. 

She kinda goes with this post... right? 

Okay. Fine. She doesn't. 

I couldn't;t find any actual lions in my neighbourhood to take pictures of. 

I can't imagine where they all went. 

I really just put this photo of my dog up cause she's cute.)

There are lions in writing. 
Yeah, I know. You thought being a writer was a safe if not sedentary pursuit involving no plane jumping, ab sailing, one handed, 360, back flips or any other display of extreme sportsmanship. Until recently I would have agreed with you, and then I reached the mid way point of my latest manuscript. Imagine my surprise when there before me was a lion. A big mother of a beast complete with snarls and claws and general don't mess-with-me attitude.

My lion also has another name. Self doubt. 
All of a sudden my story kinda... sucked. I questioned the POV I'd chosen, the MC seemed thin and cardboardish. The supporting characters seemed less supporting and more, say, jeering. Never mind that I'd spent thousands of words with these fine paper individuals, I didn't know them anymore. What were they going to do? Where were they going to do it? And what on god's white paper earth was the motivation behind what they would doing? I'd lost all track of plot, even though I'd spent time outlining. I was not longer confident that what I'd outlined was what should happen.

I am sure this has never happened to you... but I was scared. The problem if I am honest, wasn't even the writing. It was me. And my Lion.

When lions prowl.
There comes a point in most books, and I'm guessing midway is common lion fighting ground, where a writer has to confront the beast of self doubt.
The lion that stares you down and dares you to take it on.

It's not the same as the fears that existed before you began the book. You've faced them, or you wouldn't be halfway through. See, in someways it's easy to believe you'll write a great story before you've started. But half way through?
Half way through you are confronted by the reality of your own imperfections. You've had time to notice that your wrestling with words, that the plot holes has holes and time to get spooked about fixing them. You've also had time to see through your vague fantasies of this first draft being wonderful; it is living up to its name as a First Draft and will need major editing and re-writing. And you aren't even done yet!
That's when the lion prowls.

Killing this lion is all about the ability to face the uncertainty of the second half. 

"I used to hate uncertainty, but I'm learning to love it. It's an acquired taste." ~ Mark Batterson

Your book, like all books, has to end. Keep writing and it will. Let things play out in your work. See where the plot leads or what the characters whisper. Go back to the outline and consider the possibilities. Embrace the uncertainty of the second half of writing a book. So the book is not everything you thought it was going to be. So what? So you are an imperfect writer who will need to revise. Big deal. Aren't we all?

Make a choice about the direction of the second half, any choice, and write on. Accept that you will second guess yourself no matter what you chose and write anyway.

The lion wins if you don't finish the book.
Nothing will end a career sooner than 23 unfinished books by a writer who's lost all belief that he ever could. Get to the end and produce what every writer should celebrate.
A FIRST DRAFT! In all it's ugly glory. Because a first draft is the product of lion killing.

And you thought writing was for wimps?
tsk tsk.

Well... what are you doing? Don't hang around here. Go kill your lions!

Writer's Wednesday: Stay

The question that bites.
Why do people persist at anything?
Why run, or write or take photos year in year out? For fun?
What if you want more than just a good time? What if you want to take your chosen pursuit to the next level? What keeps you going then?
Why do people STAY?

If you are a writer don't you need a reason to stay at it day in day out? Maybe yes.... and then recently I was watching my favorite TV show and now I think maybe the best reason you can have is... because you want to stay.

Here's what I mean. I am not a massive fan of TV since it's a major time suck and I have books to write already, that said there is one show I never miss. Australia's Biggest Loser. If you aren't familiar with it, basically all the contestants work their butts off to lose weight and the 'biggest loser' wins the show.
So, what's my obsession with it?
Well, it's the mindsets and why people persist. People's thinking intrigues me. Why people chose to over eat, how it impacts their lives and what they go through to change their thinking as the weight comes off.... people on the edge of themselves who want something bad enough that they are willing to change. The CHANGE is what I love to watch. but specifically what makes them STAY at it long enough to change.

One week someone asked the personal trainer what keeps her motivated to stay fit. What is it that got her up at 5:30am to go running or swimming? What kept her going back to the gym?
If you've read this blog for a while you know that I run and I am also a boxer. So I have my own answer to the question of motivation, but I wanted to hear the trainer's answer.
She said, "You don't have to be motivated. You just have to be consistent."

You just have to stay.
Yup.
That's it.
It really is that simple.
Writing for publication is a long long road. And sometimes, lots of times, its enough to just stay. To keep writing. Write today. And tomorrow. And next week. And the week after that. And next month. And next year. Because one morning, one fine and beautiful morning, you will wake up and find that you are a better writer. One day, if you stay, you might even find that agent you are looking for or the publishing house with an offer.

Of course, I can't guarantee success, but I can guarantee that if you DON'T stay you will fail.
So maybe hyped up motivation is good for some days. And the sheer grit of the will power to STAY is good for all days motivation fails you.

What about you? Are you staying?



The contestants are asignened personal trainers

Writer's Wednesday: Stillness

Creativity doesn't simply happen. Sorry all you big ban theorist out there, but I know that nothing ever came from nothing. Creativity is not a random act of chance. Just like writing is not the product of words suddenly bumping into each other on a page and weaving themselves into sentences that cling in paragraphs, and paragraphs that lengthen into chapters. 

You might think I'm stating the obvious here, but a book cannot happen of its own accord. If that were stating the obvious then more writer's would protect their creativity.  

How do we protect our creativity?

Be still. Yup. That's it. We need to be still.

Life is noisy. Busy. Bold. And often in your face. As writer's we need to erect fences around the mental space required to create. 

TIME

Put it in your diary. Ink it on the calendar. Write it on your arm. Make time to be alone without the noise of life. 

QUIET SPACE

You can find this anywhere. Libraries, parks, your bedroom, swimming in the ocean, walking at sunrise.

Stay with yourself in quietness long enough to discover what you think and if in fact you have anything worth saying, much less a whole book. 

FOCUS

Find a way to quieten your mind, not by emptying it, but by focusing it. For me when I want to find stillness I take my camera and head outside. The photo above is an example of one afternoon on sunset at a local park when I simply needed to be still.

Isn't that called writing time? No. Writing time is writing time. Too much is going on in our heads when we write. Stillness is about refilling that space inside up where the words come from. It's about letting go of trying to figure out plot twists and character arcs and simply allowing ourselves to breathe. Why do you think it is that good ideas come to you when you're in the shower or dreaming? Cause you're STILL inside your mind. A quiet mind is has great capacity for creativity. An unquiet mind is... unquiet.

"True intelligence operates silently. 

Stillness is where creativity and solutions to problems are found."

~ Eckhart Tolle

Writer's Wednesday- Connection

In writing circles there is a lot of talk about connecting.... with the reader.

Forget that.

Honestly.

Forget it.

Want a book that stays with your reader?

If you want to write something that a reader won't be able to put down forget trying to connect with the reader and (wait for it...) connect with YOU.

We admire the writer who can show us something about our own humanity because they have shown us something about theirs. One of the primary reasons I put down a book has nothing to do with plot, voice, style or even genre (I have been know to read anything, even the cheerios box). 

I put down books when I sense that the author has not said what they truly wanted to say. In short, they have not connected with themselves. Or worse, they have, and then they ignored the connection.

Then consider this:

"There are very few "writing problems," as such; only human ones. A lot of what we take to be writing problems are really courage problems, problems about being honest, problems confronting others and confronting ourselves."~ Ralph Keyes.

You have to get honest about your own humanity. 

It's your job to find out what makes your skin itch and your brain tick. The most uncomfortable truth about you and your life THAT is what the reader wants insight into. 

Readers want you to put into words what it means to be human. They want you to share the human experience through your characters. That kind of writing ONLY comes from self connection.

Put that kind of honesty into your writing and you can't help but connect with the reader. 

Why? 

Because we instinctively know when someone is being real and when they are full of ....well, you put your own word in there :)

It's Scary.

Don't say I didn't warn you :)

But then we are writers, not worm farmers. The writing life is suppose to freak you out :)

To share the intimacy you have found with yourself with a reader is TERRIFYING.

And yet, you must. 

All other writing is candy floss and fireworks. 

Too real?

Yup. It is. It is too real. THAT realness is what makes for mind blowing fiction.

I dare you, I double dare you to front up to yourself and establish the truth of who you are. Then write.

"E.B White thought that the writer's key problem was to establish communication with himself.. if a writer has been communicating with a reader, I think it is simply because he has been trying (with some success) to get in touch with himself." ~ Ralph Keyes.

What about you? Agree? Disagree? Connected?

 

Writer's Wednesday- Dealing with the Fear.

(photo by Tabitha Bird)

Disclaimer: As promised Writer's Wednesday debuts on my blog today. Also as promised there will be no talk of writing do and dont's. there are a million blogs that deal with that.

THIS is NOT that blog. Writer's Wednesday will talk about the kinds of things that debilitate us, scare us, inspire us and make us run for our pen.. or computer. The kinds of things that once someone else talks about up we all exhale quietly and say something like, "Thank god. I. Am. Not. Alone."

That said... let's get to it.

First topic off the bat- Fear.

(Yeah, I know, jump in the deep end, Tab. That's me. Deep End Tab :)

Consider this:

"Working writers aren't those who have eliminated their anxiety. They are the ones who keep scribbling while their hearts race and their stomach churns, and who mail manuscripts with trembling fingers." 

~ Ralph Keyes.

Okay, now I'm going to be real honest. Fear is a writer's constant companion. There. I said it. The day I stopped expending time and energy trying to get rid of fear was the day I finally realized what it meant to be a writer.

Afraid?

For one reason or another every writer has periods of time where they CANNOT write. And I'm going to cut through all the excuses for why (the dog needed walking, your kitchen needed painting, your boss gave you overtime, you didn't feel ready, you had no ideas, nothing inspired you, everything inspired you, you didn't know where to start, you did know where to start, you'd made too many false starts) and just say it like it is. IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO FEAR.

I don't want to spend a lot of time discussing the various fears we writers have (I'll leave that for another post) but I do want to say that we all have them and if you get with yourself for five minutes and ask what's going on for you, what is behind all the excuses and writers block, you will most likely come up with your own loooong list. 

Use it

If you were like me what you did when you discovered your fears was to try to get rid of them. 

Great. 

It's to be applauded. 

But fear has a way of coming back. Example: I decided not to be afraid of the talent of various other writers and to simply be the best me I could be. Fabulous goal. Until the next time I read something from Uber Talented Writer Dude or Dudette. (she actually has a name. This is a true story, but I won't shame us both) I sat there reading her posts thinking, 'Crap! I will never be able to do that! Look what she did with 200 words! I couldn't do that with 200 000! (Yeah, come on. You have been there. Admit it :)

Once I'd stopped howling about how unfair life was not to have made me half the writer she was (and wasted a good portion of my allotted writing time to the self-depreciating cause) I re-read her post. Yep. I reread it. I decided that I was scared. The fear of not being good enough was real and unlikely to go anywhere by wishing it away. I was going to have to deal with it. AND here's how I dealt with it.

I USED IT.

That's right. (cue wild clapping... still waiting... okay... not coming :)

I used the fear to make a promise to myself. I was going to use this writer as a touch stone for my work. I was going to read her. Learn from her. And then compare the mechanics of her writing with mine. I turned the fear into a tool. This has become the single most proactive thing I've ever done for my writing. It stopped fear from being a debilitating thing and transformed it into the inspiration to write BETTER than I ever had before.

Consider this:

I strongly believe that the very thing that makes us better writer IS fear. FEAR USED WELL.

Ralph Keyes said it better than me (see, there's always someone :)

"The state you need to write 

IS the state that others are paying large sums of money 

to get rid of."

True?

What about you? What do you do with your fear? Does it stop you, or inspire you?