Monday, April 19, 2010

Too Small Words

Thank You
Two Small Words
Too Small Words.
Really. Those words are too small.
We say thank you for doing the dishes, thank you for opening the jar, thank you for minding the kids, fixing the car, doing the ironing, weeding the garden etc etc. Thank you is fine in all these places.

But what about when you are saying thank you for being the one friend who didn't walk away from me, thank you for being the husband who stayed when I fell apart, thank you for the gift of my children, thank you for health and hope and days to live out my dreams and a place to call home?
What about thank you for listening, thank you for the arms around me while I cried, thank you for not finding me disgusting and pathetic when that is all I could find in myself? Thank you for standing with me on the edge of myself and holding on tight?
What about thank you for walking through the graveyard of my past and thank you for believing there is always a new dawn after midnight?

How is Thank you enough in any of those spaces?

I was thinking about all the people who have held me in different ways in different places in my life. I was thinking about the simple things they do and did that kept my world spinning during the last two years of my life. The smile. The touch. The phone call. The email. The listening. The mountains of listening. They have been apart of every stitch  made in this thing I call a fresh start, and I wonder, how Thank you is ever ever enough?

And then I took a mammoth look at how far I walked to get to a place of having so much to be thankful for. And I realized that no two words could have been harder fought for, or heavier to hold then the Thank You I have carried through all the valleys and across all the rivers in the past two years.

When I say Thank You I mean it with the determination of a climber who has finally scaled Everest. I mean it with all the heart of a mother holding her baby for the first time. I mean it with the passion of a reunited family.  And in all those places, in all those spaces 'Thank You', those two small words become oceans crossed. They become galaxies I give. They are infinite words. As deep as they are long. Timeless. Ageless. Full.
I mean them in my brokenness and in my strength. I am within those words.
So Thank You.

To those who know what I mean when I say them.
Thank you.

And you know who you are.

What about you?
I wonder, if you could fill thank you with everything you mean, what would it contain and who would you give it too?

PS- If you came by, commented, joined my blog, emailed me to touch base or simply read my words today, thank you.
It seems a simple thing you do, but to a writer a reading eye is never a small gift.
Thank you.
You get how I mean that, right?  :)


  1. For those who are interested... the re-write of my memoir is nearly finished. This time I am actually proud of it :) The break from blogging was bitter sweet. I missed you all and I am glad to be back. I did get heaps of work done- yeah me. And soon I hope to announce some wonderful news from two of my beta readers. All the best girls. Keep the faith. You know who you are.

    Thank you to anyone who visited while I was away. Your comments were read and appreciated more than you will know :)

    Welcome to my new followers. I hope to visit you soon.


  2. Welcome back, Tab! I don't believe we are meant to walk through this world alone. ;-)

  3. Omigoodness, did it ever make me smile when I saw my book over there in your "Read so Far" list. It made my heart go all skippy hehe :)

    I missed you! I know, I talked to you most days anyway, but I STILL missed you!

    And as usual, you made me cry reading your post. The way you say things is so perfect, you feel like you can't understand why someone hasn't said them just that way before! Missed you!

  4. Welcome back, Tab!! I loved seeing your comment this morning on my blog! Missed you! Glad you're almost done with your memoir!

  5. Oh, Tab, was I ever happy to see you with a new post this morning. Glad the time away gave you what you needed to get a manuscript you are happy about. Missed you bunches.

  6. Thanks is a wonderful thing to hear. :) Good to see you back!

  7. Welcome back! When a saw you had a new post I said out loud: "Yea, she's back!" Thank you for being an inspiration.

  8. Thank you for coming back!!!! I missed you tons!!!! XOXO

  9. Words can never fully encompass emotion. Can I love you ever really suffice? Goodbye, when it is final? Darm good attempt though, to expand what is often contracted. So nice to have you back!

    - Annie

  10. This is why I missed your blog.

    Thank you.

  11. Yay! Welcome back! And this was a truly wonderful post. :-)

  12. Wonderful post THANK YOU!

    been away too long!

    great to see you again
    Hugs :)

  13. What a beautiful post! I think I have thank yous for people whose names I can't even remember! There are so many people who've done kind things for me.

    I'm glad you're back and can't wait to read your news!

  14. Beautifully said! Glad to see you back and I'm so glad you were able to get so much done on your memoir.

  15. So happy to hear your memoir is almost finished!

    Thank you is an amazing phrase that is both said too much and too little. The true meaning of the phrase is always shared with actions.

    Welcome back :)

  16. Thak you everyone for those comments and the warm welcome back. I really appreciate the open arms :)

  17. We say thank you to great gifts to us from others that words cannot come close to being enough ...

    by being the one who has the back of a hurting acquaintace, even though that person claws at us.

    We say thank you by stopping and giving a hand up to a stranger who has stumbled.

    We say thank you to those life savers in our lives by being that life saver to others who, on the surface, may not deserve it.

    By giving a smile to a sour-faced boss who seems to have lost the heart to be human anymore.

    Saying thanks to the life savers in our lives is a lifetime job of kindness to strangers and friends searching lost in the dark. We open our hearts to be that one light that leads them home.

    Have a healing week, Roland

  18. Welcome back.

    Thank you for writing.

  19. You explain Thank You in the best way. It's more than words, it's a feeling. Good to see your words here again.

  20. Tabitha, I think this post is just beautiful. And, somehow, it seems enough.

  21. It's so wonderful to be reading your words again, to know you're coming back into the light. There was never any doubt as far as I'm concerned, but now you know, too. Thank you for sharing your gift with us. Love.

  22. Oh, Tab, I was so happy to see you'd returned. Happy all went well for you. Know your beta readers will do you proud. And, yes, you were missed, a lot!