Monday, April 19, 2010
Too Small Words
Two Small Words
Too Small Words.
Really. Those words are too small.
We say thank you for doing the dishes, thank you for opening the jar, thank you for minding the kids, fixing the car, doing the ironing, weeding the garden etc etc. Thank you is fine in all these places.
But what about when you are saying thank you for being the one friend who didn't walk away from me, thank you for being the husband who stayed when I fell apart, thank you for the gift of my children, thank you for health and hope and days to live out my dreams and a place to call home?
What about thank you for listening, thank you for the arms around me while I cried, thank you for not finding me disgusting and pathetic when that is all I could find in myself? Thank you for standing with me on the edge of myself and holding on tight?
What about thank you for walking through the graveyard of my past and thank you for believing there is always a new dawn after midnight?
How is Thank you enough in any of those spaces?
I was thinking about all the people who have held me in different ways in different places in my life. I was thinking about the simple things they do and did that kept my world spinning during the last two years of my life. The smile. The touch. The phone call. The email. The listening. The mountains of listening. They have been apart of every stitch made in this thing I call a fresh start, and I wonder, how Thank you is ever ever enough?
And then I took a mammoth look at how far I walked to get to a place of having so much to be thankful for. And I realized that no two words could have been harder fought for, or heavier to hold then the Thank You I have carried through all the valleys and across all the rivers in the past two years.
When I say Thank You I mean it with the determination of a climber who has finally scaled Everest. I mean it with all the heart of a mother holding her baby for the first time. I mean it with the passion of a reunited family. And in all those places, in all those spaces 'Thank You', those two small words become oceans crossed. They become galaxies I give. They are infinite words. As deep as they are long. Timeless. Ageless. Full.
I mean them in my brokenness and in my strength. I am within those words.
So Thank You.
To those who know what I mean when I say them.
And you know who you are.
What about you?
I wonder, if you could fill thank you with everything you mean, what would it contain and who would you give it too?
PS- If you came by, commented, joined my blog, emailed me to touch base or simply read my words today, thank you.
It seems a simple thing you do, but to a writer a reading eye is never a small gift.
You get how I mean that, right? :)