Wednesday, August 12, 2009

So Over The REAL World


This is what The Real World showed up with today:
Toddler meltdowns: 5
Six-year-old dramatic fits: total 989346
Shopping trip to hell with Nan to witness: 1
Loads of dry washing wet in afternoon rain shower: 2
Dog poop clean ups: 3
Moments I questioned my sanity and desire to be a mother: 90394203847923 (a conservative estimate)
Hours of writing completed: 0

What's Really Going on Out There in the Cosmos.
(no, that's not a question, I'm a gonna tell ya :)

Is it going home soon? The Real World? Because there are days when I am so over reality. Like today. Like right now. The Real World is my dinner guest that fell asleep on my sofa with wine glass in hand, then woke up with a hang over and refused to go home.

If The Real World was my husband, then today I just filed for divorce.

BUT THEN... I found a couple places to ditch The Real World for awhile. Cause you were wondering right. Your glad you're reading this aren't you. Your wondering how long I am planning on being absent from The Real World. I know. I can hear you :) But I don't care. Did you see what The Real World showed up with today? Sometimes I like being absent.

I don't want to completely abandon The Real World. But today I should have got up, said my good mornings and then escorted him to Pluto so I could go back to bed.

Pluto's a nice enough planet. As planets go.
But then he is a gazillion light years away from the sun. And he has nothing better to do then just spin out there. All alone. And Pluto has feelings you know, (you knew that right), it's tough being the last planet in the known system of things that spin around our sun. So it stands to reason that Pluto might really like the company of The Real World.

Or maybe The Real World could take a spin with Saturn? Now there a planet with something original going on. Rings. Niiice. He's the only dude doing the 'ring thing' and all the other planets are jealous. So Saturn has no friends. A bit of a loser really. So Saturn might like The Real World too.

Or Jupiter? Who visits Jupiter? Sure, we spend millions flying astronauts to the moon, but what about the planet who has nine of them? Too far away? Too gassy we say. Well, we all have our faults. I think The Real World could over look these faults, since he has more than his fair share of crappy days following along behind.

Jupiter would love some adult conversation. Trust me. I know these things. Cause all she has for company are those nine little moons and dang it if she isn't over having to be the gravitational pull for all nine of them! The Real World would be very welcome. Especially if he brought coffee and a packet of choc chip cookies and some gorgeous new shoes he just picked up for her. Mmmm girl! Juptier was a woman in another life (I know that too- the moons give it away), and I tell you, if she isn't happiest drinking a Star Bucks and munching on sugar and chocolate while chin wagging over shoes and shopping adventures! The Real World could hang out there all day I expect.

Venus is a hot head, so I wouldn't send The Real World over there. He'd never cope and then I'd have to hear all about it when I was finally forced to rejoin The Real World.

I guess it's not The Real World's fault that sometimes I hate him. All things real and dramatic have to have somewhere to hang out now don't they.

I just need a break every now and then. Like all good relationships, space is important. The problem is that no one told The Real World. He just shows up every morning, right on cue with the alarm clock, and won't leave until I fall asleep that night.

Enter imagination. Thank God for imaginations. There is no need to let The Real World invade that space. That's my escape. Maybe that's why I write? To process The Real World and dream about what could be. Thank God for dreaming too. It's the ultimate holiday for all us mere mortals bound by the constraints of time and reality. Bound by The Real World.

Even if you don't write, imaginations are wonderful things to cultivate. And The Real World does have other friends to hang out with. Even just for an hour.

Okay, I've had my fun.
The Real World and I have made our peace. He had better show up with choc chip cookies tomorrow though.

What's your relationship with The Real World like? And where does it go when you write?
Can it get to your imagination?


  1. O where O where do I start on the real world. Do you really want me to get into the real world.... Wish my choc chip cookies would show up they are my favorite.

  2. Well, sometimes the Real World and I are the best of friends. We work together and get things done. Othertimes he's a little on the naggy side.
    Imagination is off limits. As long as I can turn of my hearing, I can turn off the real world. LOL

    Cute post! You have a great writing style. :-)

  3. I love how you write! The Real World and I sometimes get along, other times no. Like when I'm up in the middle of the night calming a screaming child. Or take today for instance. I have to go work and teach 24 kiddos and convince them to get excited about learning. Yea, that's not that easy.

    I LOVE escaping into the world of imagination. Thank the LORD for it!

  4. I love your break down of the real world! That's too funny! I could add bickering kids to that list! I think that's one of the huge blessings of writing--we get to have something else to focus on besides the real world problems! And we're in total control, we have the power to create and make things happen the way we want! Which we don't get in real life!

  5. The real world is precisely why it's fantastic to be a writer, I think. You can create another place where it's a darn sight less trouble (or more, if that's interesting) to live in than the stupid real one!

    If it helps, I spent 5 hours today addressing, folding, stamping and posting the magazine I write for my local dog club. That was after all the time I spent writing and editing it in the first place. By the time I was done, I got a migraine and that was the end of writing for the rest of the day.

    Reality is overrated.

  6. Shelley, The Real World really owes you some choc chip cookies girl. Hugs from me.

    Hey Jessica, Hmmm... a mute button for The Real World is what we need! Sounds like you found it already. Where is it located? For the rest of us... :)

    Yes I hear you about teaching Katie. I so know that one! All the best for the rest of the week :)

    Thank you Jody. Yes writing is a huge blesing. Between that and my imagination, I have managed to hold on to sanity. I'll have to write about Sanity one day. She deserves her own post :)

    I agree Wendy. 5 hours stamping? And your wrote the thing too? Yeah, I can see why you are a little over your Real World. May he show up and behave tomorrow :)

  7. Unfortunately, the real world intrudes all too often into my writing world. But you've definitely captured the feeling of how frustrating it is when you want to get to your writing but life won't let you. I hope you get your escape today!

  8. I love your writing, Tabitha. It's whimsical and funny, and truly captures how "the real world" feels. I don't mind the real world most of the time because my real world is pretty wonderful right now. But when it intrudes in a not so great way, my writing is a blessed escape.

  9. I'm giving the Real World the silent treatment until I get properly employed again.

  10. When the real world is playing a nice, I don't mind it so much. Other times, though...

  11. I need the real world sort of like I need my car. I do write to escape and do so effectively might I add lol!

  12. Steph, here's hoping we all get some writing done today :)

    Thank you Karen. The Real World and I sometimes get along too. Sometimes... :)

    ckhb, LOL! I hear you :)

    Agree Lazy Writer, I agree.

    Drive on T. Anne :) Thanks for the comment.

  13. Oh.My.Goodness! That picture just creeps me out! Seriously, it gave me the heebie jeebies! I read and watch movies to escape most of the time.

  14. LOL Sherrinda. Is it the cat or the mice?

  15. That must suck for Jupiter to be a woman, with all those "moons" to deal with. Loved the post, and hope the Real World treats you better.