Deciding not to is akin to the most courageous. Deciding not to is where those who dare tred daily.
And I wonder..
Can I decide not to?
Can I decide not to be small? Not to be what I think others want to hear? Not to be the easy way out or the little white lie? Can I decide in advance not to be the one thing everyone thinks I should be, the restrictions of female or what is deemed appropriate of my gender? Damn it, can I decide not to be expectations period?
Can I decide not to be what someone told me to be or told me not to be, what someone suggested I was or will only accept me as? Can I decide not to be the limits of what I think I can do or the limits other people place on me?
Can I decide not to be my past? Not to be restricted by my present and not to narrow my possibilities in the future?
Can I decide not to be the same space that everyone around me occupies?
Can I decide not to belong to others?
It's a very big decision. One I'm not always great at making. Deciding not to is as important as deciding to do.
Can I decide not to shrink back?
And I wonder...
Can I decide not to be anyone but me?