There's a little head resting on my ankle as I type. I get so used to the furry weight that I forget she is there. But she is. Always. She is simply there.
When I go to bed at night she tucks herself up behind my legs. When I nightmare she tucks herself in closer. If I wake to grainy images still running though my head and a dark, too-quiet world, she is there. When I wake in the mornings, twisted in my sheets, she is there. When I drag my limbs from the tangles and wonder how on earth to put my feet on the floor and begin my day, she is there. When I creep into my morning with a sodden heart from a night of crying, she is there. As my boys bang and fuss and race about in my morning chaos, she is there. If I take five minutes to sit with a cup of tea and gather my head, she is there.
Some days ebb and flow better than others. She ebbs and flows with me. Some days find their rhythm without my forcing the hours along. Together we barely notice how time moves around us.
Some days are bent only on crashing me on the rocks of all alone. My arms dangle by themselves until a little wet nose pushes into my hand. She is simply there.
She has no answers. She asks no questions. I don't have to tell her how I am feeling, but if I want to she'll sit for as along as I sit, and listen. She watches me yell at the walls when no one else is home. She knows I cry in the shower. She also knows I laugh at lady bugs and dance when it rains. And we love cupcakes. Both of us. Even though we know we shouldn't eat them, we do.
And we write. Since she was a tiny handful we have written together. She was there for all the midnight hours of my first draft. And for the stolen daytime hours of my second and third drafts. She was there during the chaotic hours, both day and nigh,t of my fourth draft. And she is with me now, as I attempt the fifth draft of my memoir. If I am at my computer I know where she will be- with me.
This I know: Dog is not Woman's best friend because Woman is such good company. Dog is Woman's best friend because Dog is there. Always. She is simply there.
What about you? Do you do the long hours with someone who is 'simply there'?
(photo: Me and my chihuahua "Lion." Yes, you read that right. Her name is Lion :)