Friday, July 9, 2010
It's okay to laugh at the dog.
Write. 500. 1000. Word count. Clock on. Clock off.
Write. 500. 1000. Clock on. Clock off.
First month of new book. Excitement. Clap hands. Type madly.
Think about beginning. Hook? Do you have one? Is your opening to die for? Should anyone be dying? Why is someone dying in the first sentence then?
What about the 'it' factor? Is there enough magic there to grab readers, agents and book contracts alike?
Delete first sentence.
Re-write first sentence.
Re-read first sentence.
Decide you will come back to the first sentence when you have finished the book.
You'll be a better writer then.
Second month of not so new book. Still smiling. Still typing. Not so madly.
Think about characters.
Do you love them? Should you love them? Will the reader love them?
Decide they suck.
Sprinkle spice and happiness through opening scenes. Re-write dialogue. Show, don't tell.
Re-read opening scenes.
Delete dialogue. Delete attempts at show, don't tell.
Lastly, delete spice and happiness.
Decide you have written a horror.
You were aiming for YA paranormal romance.
Delete opening scenes.
Decide to come back to opening scenes after you have written the middle. At least you know where that is going.
Fifth month of writing book. Smiling. Just. Typing. Just.
Write middle. Read middle.
Middle sags. Big. Time.
Nothing is happening. You were so sure something would happen. But your characters are out of control running amok and completely spoiling the pacing and tone of your book.
Or is that you? Damn! You suspect it is you.
Rewrite without any adjectives and adverbs. Okay, who are you kidding. Re-write with less adjectives and adverbs. Up the drama. Up the tension. Think of scenes in terms of a play. Everything should be building. Give the main character more to fight for. Or should that be less to fight against? Who is fighting again? What is the focus of this book? What is at steak here?
Steak? When did you last eat? It is 2 am in the morning. Did you have dinner? You don't remember.
Decide to write the ending. Endings have always been your strong point.
Sixth month of writing dog tired book. Why do you want to write anyway?
Write ending. Read ending. Cry. Bang head against desk, and cry. Plot elements required to arrive at this ending are impossible, implausible and improper. Implode. More tears. Ending is not subtle. Not refreshing. Not satisfying. Not original. Not you.
Finger hoovers over delete key.
Decide entire writing thing sucks. Decide you suck. Decide...
Friend sent you picture of ridiculous dog.
Look at dog.
Feel.. better? Maybe.
Laugh some more.
Dog really is stupid. Not particularly funny. Maybe you are tired?
Laugh until your sides hurt and you threaten to wake sleeping household.
Decide to go to bed.
Decide to re-read book next week.
Decide Rome wasn't built in a day.
Decide it is okay to laugh at silly dog.
Thank god for silly dogs.
What about you? Laughed at any dogs lately?