Monday, July 19, 2010

It's Mine

Book Ownership Laws for Husbands/Partners of Avid Writers/Readers

1. If I am reading it, it's mine.
2. If I had it a little while ago, but put it down, it's mine.
3. Even if I put it down on your desk/favorite chair/lap, it is still mine.
4. If it's mine, it must never in anyway appear to be yours.
5. If I burnt dinner, forgot to pick up the kids from school and neglected the washing for a week, the book was mine.

6. If you're reading it, and I think it looks better than what I am reading, it's mine.
7. If you're reading it and I haven't read it, it's clearly mine.

8. If I bought the book with my money, it's mine.
9. If I bought it with your money, it's mine.
10. If I bought the book with our money, it's all mine mine mine.

11. If we have an extra $20 in the budget and I get to the money first, the new book is mine.
12. There will never be an extra $20 in the budget, because the book is mine.
13. If you get the the money first and foolishly waste it at the hardware store, I will return your purchase and invest wisely. You guessed it. The book is mine.

14. If I bought it and haven't read it, it is still mine.
15. If I bought thirty and haven't read them yet, I will be buying more, and they too will be mine.

16. If it is on my wish list, it is as good as mine.
17. If I asked for it for my birthday, it had better be mine.
18. If it's on your birthday list, it had better be about football, or it's mine.

19. If it's torn, moldy, boring or otherwise defective, it's yours.
.... I'll be buying another one, and that will be mine :)

What about you? Got any great rules for book ownership in your house?


  1. Rofl! Love it, Tab! In my house, everything that enters either of my kids rooms becomes automatically theirs, so you have to be darn careful what gets in there! Just got my "Juno" dvd back from daughter. She asked to watch it, sadly, she watched it in her room. So it became hers! I asked to "borrow" it, and when she got it, I pointed out the inscription showing it was a birthday gift - to me. Now its in MY room, so its once again MINE.

  2. Some of these rules do apply! especially 14. and 15. Just because I haven't read it yet doesn't mean you can read it FIRST!

    lol. An excellent list. bibliophiles are greedy and stingy and downright covetous of their bookly possessions.

  3. You about summed it up. the only one that doesn't apply is # 19. Even if it is mouldy and dirty, it is mine

  4. LOL you guys.

    Oh and if the kids have it, it is mine too :)

  5. Very cute, Tab!! Fortunately for me, my hubby doesn't read fiction and so I don't have to fight him over good books! :-)

  6. Hahaaa! I think you've covered it. My sons' doctor has something similar for toddlers and it always cracks me up. :-)

  7. Girl, you've add humor to your repertoire! LOVE IT!

    If it has a cover and pages, IT'S MINE! And don't you DARE throw it away!!!!

  8. HAHAHA!!! Excellent list! My hubs doesn't read, but man, if he did, I would post this on the fridge! It-da-Mine!


  9. Oh Tab, this list is an absolute stitch. Especially 11-13!

    Once, I left a Jacquelyn Mitchard novel on the bed next to my pillow, when I left for work. At some point during my absence, Bosco decided it was his, and "devoured" it!

    By the way, last night I started the book you sent me. I pretty much can't put it down, and expect I'll finish it today. Thanks for sending it my way! ;-)

  10. LOL I love this! Yes the book is mine if it is sitting on my footstall on top of the pile of my books beneath it that are also mine:)

  11. HA! I need to print this out for my hubby. Lately, he's been yanking my Kindle!

  12. LMOA! No rules needed in my house. None of the testosterone kings in my house read. ALL the books are mine. ALWAYS!

  13. Loved the read Tabitha, as I live alone I don't have a problem. but enjoyed what you wrote none the less.


  14. Made me smile, Tab. My hubby only reads train magazines, so no worries about him sniping one of my precious books.

  15. That's hilarious. Even if I've read the book five times and I've passed it onto my hubby, if there's a part I want to read again (right at the moment), it's mine :)

  16. Do you live in my house and we haven't met???

    2 funny!

    Stop by for a visit to An Authentic Life


  17. LOLOLOL!!!!!

    Hilarious, girl! Thanks for bringing a smile to my face this morning! Great way to start the week!

  18. I wish I had that problem. I'm sad to say that I'm the only one who enjoys reading in my house.

  19. I LOVE THIS!!!

    It's hard for people to understand that book lovers think of their books as their babies and you better darn well take good care of it because it's mine! ;)

  20. HA! Same rules at my house, whaddya know?

  21. There is a huge smile on my face right now!

  22. I love it! Thank goodness my daughter and I aren't reading the same books yet, but I remember this all too well from growing up in a family of bookworms.

  23. Hahahaha... I love it! Too funny - that about sums it up for me too! :D

  24. Bahahahaaa!

    Awesome list of laws!

    Of course, if you're a man, and an avid reader, these rules don't apply. My wife reminds me regularly that I promised to share all my earthly possessions. I noted once that that referred to all my worldly possessions at the time of the vow, and I've added a few since then, but she didn't buy it. :)

  25. Fortunately, wifey and I read separate genres. She like self help, I like suspense thrillers. And when I'm finished I donate the books to charity or the library. No sense in them collecting dust when someone else can read them.

    Stephen Tremp

  26. You guys make me laugh. Glad there are more nutty household out there like mine. I told husband it would be cheaper for him to just buy me a bookstore... he said he'd get back to me :)

  27. Precious . . . my sentiments exactly.


  28. I'm stealing your rules! Plus as writers, we NEED more books all the time.

    Thank you for my morning laugh.

  29. Hehehe. Love this post!

    I don't like sharing the book I'm reading, unless it's in aloud, quoted excerpts. Otherwise, it's too much of a literary tug-o-war.


  30. Perfect. And I like that you can just interchange the word book with pretty much anything else and it works for my house. hehe