Monday, May 3, 2010

Not When the Light Shines

This is when friends are important. It is not when the light shines. It is not when the day brings laughter. It is not when tea cup chatter rises in our hearts. Even a friendly stranger will do in times like these. But when the hour hand is stuck at midnight, we need our friends. When we forget who we are and the wind howls with the wolves through our souls, we need our friends. And it is in this present darkness that we discover what kind of friendships we have made.

Are they fairy floss and candy apple friendships? Or do they have substance? The kind of friends that will search for you in the midst of haunted lands? Not everyone falls to the bottom of life and then looks around to see who is still standing beside them. But I fell. And there were few left. My husband, Matt, came looking for me. And one or two others. The sad thing is, they were not the one or two I expected.

I realized that I had carnival friends. Sure they were happy to ride the odd scary roller coaster. But what about getting stranded in the haunted house? What about holding my hand after I lost every single game I played?

They were gone.
"We'll email you," they said.
"We'll call."
"We must do dinner."

 But dinner came and went, my email box was full of empty, and my phone stood arms folded and quite on the bench.

I cried. Like all lost puppies.
But then I took in what I had. A husband. My boys. And the one or two who sent a meal and came to sit with me awhile.

So why do I write this? Because humanity is best enjoyed as a meal shared. And even if you are starving, it is nice to have someone to share the hunger pains with. Someone to say, "I understand. I too have hurt."

Writing is just as long and lonely sometimes. Especially when nothing blooms and you are chipping away at rocks trying to plant seeds. What keeps me sane are the fellow 'Wanters' who dream the writing dream. Those who hold their desires out for me to see and I, in turn,  hold out mine. And to those who have such friends, you are never truly lost.

So thank you for two sets of footprints. Especially those who walk in mud beside me. I can count you on one hand. What a precious hand that is.

What about you? Who walks beside you? Shout their names out proud. Who holds their hands out to you as you dream the writing dream?


  1. You gave me the shivers again.

  2. I'm not sure... sometimes I think we have to get to the bottom before we know. I hope you're on your way up, but in the meantime, I'm so glad you see those footprints. That's important, to be able to see them. :-)

  3. Thanks for the comments girls :)

    Wendy- cool! :)

    Jess- I agree. Footprints are very important. I see my own now too. Also important :)

  4. I love my whole blogging community. They sure walk the mud with me. But my writing dream is met here. Small...intimate audience who share not just words, but heart. And so is in your hands. Thank you for holding it :)

  5. I think it's those people who are quietly in the shadows. Those few friends that if you called out, they would be there. They would put out a cry and come together to your side.

    Straight From Hel

  6. Yes, I think everyone who writes gets stomped and beaten down. You'll prevail.

  7. I agree, Tab. Hardships will often prove who are truest friends really are. My Mom is my dearest, sweetest confidant. But there are others too, who have surprised me with their support.

  8. From across the ocean, sending you love and hugs. Dark times do show us our real friends, and our own strength. I am in the midst of a shifting of friendships. It is hard. Mostly, my hubby is the one I can always count on, no matter what. Sorry it has been so hard, Tab. Wish I could help.

  9. I have a few people, but would definitely like more. I don't think you can have too many people holding you up. Nice post.

  10. It is funny that those we expect to help, slip away, and yet we find caring in others...I too have found friends in places I least expected it this over the last year plus. I'm blessed for them. And, I'm grateful to those who have supported me from the blog world too. Wishing you continued strength Tab.

  11. Ack! Where did my comment go? FOr me it's the Lord who helps me.

  12. My husband! My sister-in-law and two of my really close friends. Those four come to the top of my head.

  13. I'm so glad when I came back I found you back! Your posts are the refreshing my heart has ached for.

    I thank God for Him first. He has never left me. Then I thank my husband a man God designed just for me, who loves me even when it hurts. Then my children, for waiting for me to hold them and kiss them so they can tell how much they love me.

  14. This was such a beautiful post and it truly hits home for me right now. You know what though, I am grateful for the times Not When the Light Shines because it shows you who you should really have in your life and let into your heart! Again, GREAT post! :o)

  15. Oh, yes. I can relate to this. We've moved a lot and it's difficult to maintain friendships.

    But my husband, sister, mom, dad, in-laws, and kids hold my hand and keep me strong.

  16. Beautiful and honest post. Thank you. I have connected with you today. We don't need a whole army of people in our dark tent, but we do need someone. It is so good to look around and appreciate who IS there. I have a story out in our local women's magazine on The Committee, those negative voices that tell you you're not good enough. Then, there are the angel voices that say, Of course, you can. I'll post the link on my blog later this week. Carry on. Write on. Dream on.

  17. Lovely as always, Tab. Friends are so important, but I find family are the ones who are there for me when things are really difficult. Friends tend to be too invested in their own lives and troubles. I am so grateful for a wonderful husband and good kids. They get me through the day-to-day.

  18. What a beautiful post. You're right; there are far too many "fair weather" friends in our lives. And that's fine. I'm not sure if it's possible to have an over abundance of the "Stick with you through the end of the world" kind. There's too few to go around and too many who need them. I have a few. A scant few but I cling tightly to them. Not as tightly as I should and, thanks to this post, I'm going to cling a bit tighter.


  19. Even good people are afraid of the dark. Sometimes, depending on what's going on in a person's life, the energy to reach out and lift up just isn't there.

    Sucks when those are the only people in your life. I've been the one to lift and the one to shirk away. I've had lifters and shirkers. It depends on life.

    Hopefully more lifters will be there next time you need them.

  20. It's true, I think, that you can't know who those friends you can only count on one hand will be until the dark times come. I've been supprised by mine before.
    Wish I'd known you more, sooner...

  21. Tabitha,
    Your words touches me so much,
    The beauty of your being will always draw that which sweet and loving.

    hugs...many many many!!!


  22. I'm so glad you know true friendship, that you know even in the darkest dark, you're not alone. Even one of those friends can be enough. Love.