"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who come alive."
~ Howard Thurman
On bad days, when the clouds hang wet and low in my skies, I think about this quote. Sometimes I think too many of my life's decisions were made out of fear of really living. And then I think back to the places I've lived and the valleys I have walked through. And while I may not have climbed to the top of Everest yet, I have climbed none the less.
Because I wanted to come alive I realize that in many ways I have lived. And in living I have come alive. I have pushed my limits just trying to be me. And though I fail more often then not, the desire to be fully alive has introduced me to many places and many people, not in the least myself.
That simple desire, to live, to come alive, is why I got married. It is why I taught in Hong Kong. It is why I knew I had to see Colorado's Rockies, the Effeil Tower, the impossibly clear seas of the Maldives, and every other place I 'wasted' my money traveling to.
It is why I wanted to be a mother. And what keeps me going when that desire means wiping, washing, sticky fingers and tears. Lots of tears. Theirs and sometimes mine. It is why I stay married. Why I love. Why I risk the hurt associated with opening your life to another human. It is why I coffee with friends and movie with him. It is why I box. It is why I run. It is why I eat cupcakes when perhaps I shouldn't. It is why I call myself a Christian. Why I long to know Him better. Why I pour my life before out Him. And trip over myself learning to trust him
And it is why I write.
It is why I write.
If there was nothing more that I ever got to do in this life, I realize that I have done already what makes me live. I just hope I get more days to color outside the lines and see how much more glitter I can add to the picture of me.
What about you? What makes you come ALIVE?