Here I am

32

and then the clock ticked

again

one too many times

sands washed

another wave

wind

movement

and

another year

33

Here I am,

stripped bare

unashamed

because I am tired of all the dressing up

before the God who holds me

tight

close

while I knife the safety net

He weaves beneath my life

Still

Here I am,

standing

When God knows I should kneel

boxing my shadows

alone

in corners

under desks

When He calls me under His wings

Hiding, God, still hiding

He knows me anyway.

Sees where I have been and where I am.

Here

Crawling

dragging beauty through the filth

Here I am.

His fighter

His tears

His joy

The woman He calls Princess

when I prefer the swamps

darkness

the comfort of not knowing

my fists pounding

so close that we both bite our lip

still

Here I am.

How can He stand to watch?

But He does more than stand

He runs

beside

in front of

around

and behind

Because here I am

I am His.

yep, it's my birthday today. 33. Amazing what happens when you are busy hiding, running and crawling. Today, I just am. Here. Half way to Happy. A long way past the end of me and all the way committed to doing another year with Him. Not a bad place to be.

What about you? Where do you find yourself today?