Reasons why Motherhood and Books are Nothing alike

Reasons why children and books are nothing alike. Did we need convincing? Random thoughts from my brain... 

1. When you put a book down it stays down. Mostly right where you left it. Ever tried doing that with a toddler who is determined to be picked up? Even tried telling a toddler, "Stay."

2. Books have a plot. My children have often lost the plot. Or is that me?

3. You can, if you so desire, skip through to find out how the book ends. How I wish I could fast forward and find out when the terrible two's will actually end, when the night waking will be over or how much longer it will be until food actually goes into the toddler's mouth with some sort of reliability, bypassing the floor, the walls and the dog.

4. Predictability, predictability, predictability! Even crime thrillers contain more certainty than children.

5. Finished the book? Had enough of the story? Relegate the book to shelf. Where exactly do you relegate toddler tantrums?

6. Books make nice accompaniments to a quiet coffee or a mellow red wine... enough said really.

7. If I don't have time to read, I don't have time to read. If I don't have time to clean up the spilt milk, change the nappy (diaper) or fix a dinner that won't be thrown at the dog... I make time.

8. Books find me in my 'happy place'. My children find me...especially when I am on the phone or need to use the bathroom. ALONE.

9. Sure, I could take a book to the bathroom... if I so desire. But what part of, "Mummy just needs a minute in here" is difficult for my children to understand?

10. I am able to understand most of what I read. If I don't, I can google it. I get the character's. I mostly understand what they need and want. I am still trying to decipher my toddler's screaming requests for, "blafthsa." Try googling that!

Okay, I'm done! I do love my children. I just needed a bit of comic relief at the end of today...and a good book and a nice red wine!