Monday, March 21, 2011

If You Were a Toy

If I was a toy....
I would be the transformer, minus the cool sound effects, oh
and also minus my left arm
cause I'd be kind of stuck in a transformation between car and robot because someone (I won't mention any names- might have been me) got a bit frustrated that they couldn't force the change.

I would be the doll with one eye rolled back in her head,
You know the one? You poke you finger in to retrieve the eye, but all you do is push it further back? Yeah... that one. I wouldn't see everything I should.

I would be the pea green T-Rex with shrivelled hands and a massively disproportionate body.
The one that would repeat, "I'm a predator. No, really, I am" if you twist my tail.
Stop twisting my tail. I won't sound convincing after the fifth time.

I would be the puzzle with a few pieces missing. Friends would keep me around though. Perhaps I would be an interesting enough picture without all the pieces. Or maybe they would have missing pieces too and wouldn't be bothered by my own lack of completion.

I would be the book with crayon drawings of stick... things. I am not sure what they are. But they shouldn't be there, should they? Unless you believe that life marks us all. And that having friends draw wings on your back is a very good thing.

But mostly I'd be the plastic Lego dude with the shield. And a missing sword. A very big one. I think the dinosaur ate it. Or maybe the dog... anyway... I would be the Lego warrior dude. Able to leap tall... Lego bricks in a single bound and fight off, um, .... boredom. I'd slay Lego dragons, and rescue Lego princesses.

I guess my point is this... I am the transformer still transforming, the doll who sees life a little differently, the T-Rex who wants you to think I'm big stuff, the puzzle that's not all there, the book that doesn't mind being drawn on if you are going to draw wings, and the Lego dude who can fight off what needs to be fought off in my own little world.
Aren't we all just a few toys short of a complete toy box?
Show me normal and I'll show you a pea green T-Rex.

What about U? What kind of toy are you and why?


  1. Aww Tab, you are brilliant, that's what you are. I think you're a complete toy box all on your very own :D

    Me, I'm a toy soldier who got left a bit close to the heater and melted a little in places and leans a bit to the left. My paint is chipped, my machine gun droops, and my helmet has drifted off to the side. But every day I get up and face the battle with my droopy gun and my tilted helmet and I know I'll do it all again tomorrow. I need a new toy box. Preferably somewhere tranquil :)

  2. Definitely a little Lego guy. I want to shop at that Lego pizza store, and live in that cool Lego Harry Potter house my daughters built. There are so many possibilities with Lego!

  3. Tab, this is one of my favorite plosts you've ever done. Wings! Drawn by friends! I love it.

    I would be a Bratz cowgirl doll that has been prohibited by strict stuffy parents, but who gets taken out of a secret hiding spot and played with after bedtime anyway. I whisper things to my little owner, and she laughs. We both want a pony. :-)

  4. I am an ancient stuffed red elephant, all plush long since worn away, holes in ears and feet. Ugly as...but oh so very well loved.

  5. Me? I'd be a teddy bear .....most people have a soft spot for a teddy.


  6. That is a tough question! I have absolutely no idea. Hmm. Still nothing. Okay, I guess I'd be a wind-up toy b/c I can only go for some long before I need me time.

  7. Oh man, this is my favorite post ever. I love reading all the different toys everyone wants to be :)

  8. I LOVE this.

    I'd be the stuffed unicorn with the stuffing falling out and broken wings that still fly.

    ~ Wendy

  9. "got a bit frustrated that they couldn't force the change."
    I LOVE this post Tabitha.
    LOVE it!
    Thank you.

  10. My first instinct was to stay a Barbie doll because I've never been happy with how I look, but than, naw, who wants to look so perfect and somewhat phony. I really have no idea what toy except a puzzle and let people have fun trying to make me whole, just like I've been doing my whole life.
    Great post, Tab.

  11. I love this post, especially "I would be the puzzle with a few pieces missing", because that's how I've been feeling lately.

  12. I love this post! Your word pictures are amazing!

    Me: I'm a barbie doll. Everyday is full of imagination, great clothes, and slew of friends to share it with.

  13. Rather be anything other than normal. I'd probably be a combo Barbi/Ken if I had to choose a toy rep. :D

  14. I agree with Wendy - I LOVE this. I just found myself smiling through the whole thing.

    Hmmm....I'd be Buzz Lightyear, with my arms outstretched. "To infinity and beyond!" Slightly delusional at times but ready to do this thing

  15. Aww. I would want to be the Raggedy Ann doll like my grandma made for me. One foot was bigger and she said that's what made it a real Raggedy Ann doll. Of course, I would be looking for my Raggedy Andy. :)

  16. Thanks for playing everyone :)) I had fun writing that.

  17. Your brain is like a vault of brilliance. Does anything that isn't genius ever come out of it?

    I'm the dolphin that warbles instead of squeaks. I never say what you expect me to say, because I won't believe what you want me to believe.

    Love this!


  18. I'm the Sasha doll that's been really played with and is missing her socks. No box, either.

    Tab, you are so awesome!

  19. You are the toy well played.

  20. What a great post and reflection on life, and toy boxes. I'm also a puzzle, missing a few pieces. I'm wondering if someone else has them, and just needs to come over and make me complete.

  21. I have major love for this post, girl! I would be a weeble wobble. I can wobble, but I won't fall down. =)

  22. I'm the toy in the back of the cupboard that everyone forgot about. Complete, but a bit dusty, waiting for the day that someone will pick me up and set me free.