Friday, September 24, 2010

Pause



There is a woman who knew about things. A listener who knew how powerful it was to be heard. A woman who invited my words to breathe on paper. She knew about that sacred place where a reader meets a writer and a writer is read. She knew about joy when she asked about my pain. About the void in a life when numbness mistakes itself for feeling and feeling anything became the enemy. She knew open space and its equally important partner, closeness. About when to hold and when to let go.

And she knew about pauses. How to hold the stillness between her questions and my answers without needing to fill the silence.

In that space I found myself.

Then I became a woman who knew things.  About how profoundly lost I was until I finally became still. About how to simply breathe through a day, any day, all days. About the little girl I'd hidden away inside my heart and how to hold my own hand.

Now I am becoming a woman who knows how powerful it is to hear others. A woman who craves ways to invite other people's words. A reader who understand the sacred place where writers are met.  A lover who embraces joy and pain, as equally important partners. I reach out to the voids in life so numbness does not mistake itself for feeling. I create open spaces for myself and sometimes, just sometimes, I dare to let others close. I am learning when to hold on and when to let go.

That is the gift of her pause. A moment to simply be. A place to sit in the silence inside yourself and listen to the breathings of your very being. A velvet stillness.  A pulse. And a chance to become the woman who knows.

What about you? Have you ever found yourself or the pulse of your writing inside the stillness of a pause?


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28 comments:

  1. Ah, all that is born from one pregnant pause. What a beautiful thought. Quiet is often when my writing reaches for the light and comes out with integrity. It's in the hustle and bustle it gets tangled.

    ~ Wendy

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  2. When I listen to people muse about why they did this or that, I find myself hearing a message that is meant just for me.

    So yes, sometimes I find myself by listening to others.

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  3. Oh, yes. I did yesterday. :) And thank you for commenting on it. So often he stillness will bring such power. Wonderful post :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

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  4. My writing sucks when I write outside of the pause.

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  5. Pauses are very important and I personally believe the right and effective act of speech is knowing when to pause. Everything has a message, a reason, a rationale. Pauses gives us a chance to recognize it and gives us an outlet to connect to it.

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  6. This is beautiful, Tab. That stillness is something I'm lately realizing I've been ignoring. And I need to pay attention to it again. So thank you.

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  7. I am learning to allow the stillness before I begin writing. When I do that, it can be magical, even if no writing occurs at that moment.
    karen

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  8. WOW... this is a powerful message.
    To mute the tongue and open the ear ~ simply beautiful!

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  9. Often times in the stillness we can hear a small voice whispering to us, answers..... :O)

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  10. Sometimes it just takes a moment away from the chaos to discover what things really mean.

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  11. Your work together has been truly transformative. Your writing is proof.

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  12. My favorite verse in Be still and know that I am God. I really want to be that woman who embraces stillness. Sometimes I feel like everything inside me is zigzagging around. Sometimes I have to remind myself to take a deep breath and just be. Thanks for reminding me!

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  13. Here is where I am right now: "I reach out to the voids in life so numbness does not mistake itself for feeling."

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  14. Yes, I have. In fact, everytime I pause, or rather, allow myself to pause, I find deeper aspects of myself and tune into the truth of my own writing.

    Beautiful post!
    Jen

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  15. Life's pauses are some of my most cherished moments.

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  16. A wonderful post, sometimes I have started writing a poem which I have all worked out, then decided to have a rest, during that rest new ideas and different words have reconstructed the poem completly. So I think a pause can be most benificial.

    Yvonne,

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  17. So beautifully put! I've been reading Eat, Pray, Love and the whole middle part is about this. (The "pray" part of the book.) It's all about the art of just letting go of things and letting the universe take care of them. That's a hard thing to do!

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  18. I know that numbness, Tabitha. It can become the walls in which I choose to hide sometimes. I also know the stillness, and the bounty that can be found there. It is in that stillness...outside of thought and feeling that true nurturing can actually occur. I've learned something this year...I am NOT my thoughts/feelings! Out of stillness, that wonderful belief was born. Loved this post. Thanks for visiting me!

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  19. A place to sit inside yourself and listen to the breathing of your very being.

    The above is the end of the journey. I'm a bit older and have experienced this journey thru one's self. I honestly don't think anyone escapes this journey. And this is good. Because at the end of the journey being inside yourself is pretty damn good.

    Great post, Tab. Have a lovely weekend!

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  20. I mimick Katie's sentiment. There is more to gain from the moments we allow ourselves to simply listen.

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  21. Sometimes, my beautiful friend, I get lost in the pause. I feel like perhaps nothing really exists but me and the words. Like my surreal world has become reality. I appreciate the beauty in that and I think you can too.

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  22. T.Anne- yes, I appreciate the beauty.

    Deb, thank you. That really matters to me. :)

    Thanks everyone for the comments :) Have a great rest of the weekend.

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  23. This is sooooo beautiful! Yes, I think I do this. Your words made me think of that Pink video about the family photo, you know the song about how her family split up? That song was sad to me for personal reasons. Anyhoo, the video is of Pink as an adult but also her as a child, and in a way, she's holding her own hand.
    Lovely post. ;-)

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  24. Thank you for visitng my blog. This is such a thought provoking post; yes, the themes and context for my poetry and prose come to me in the stillness of a pause,when I am more receptive to myself they are my way of expressing my inner thoughts. ♡

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  25. Erm...I have 3 children aged 5 and under. I don't get many pauses, let alone pregnant ones.

    Oh, okay, I got 3 pregnant pauses. But now I don't have very many of those. I write anyway.

    Lovely post, as always, Tab. Your writing is just s'damn soulful, y'know?

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  26. this is so beautifully said...and yes I'm learning in the pauses...I was always impatient...wanting things to happen yesterday...but I'm learning to trust...to wait...to know...He's got everything under control...

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  27. This is a beautiful piece of writing. That 'stillness' is what is needed in a too busy world.

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