Wednesday, August 11, 2010

If you Give a Girl an Edit




I thought I had nothing to say. My insides are a mash of soaking bits of my soul that need drying out and words that long since dried. Despite the mess, I have to admit, the words, such as they are, should probably be shared. What is a writer, after all, if they can't write even when the typing hurts?

So, many of you know I have written a memoir. After  receiving unexpected interest from agents and editors at a conference in May this year I gathered my dreams and started planting them in fertile soil.  Recently I have had spectacular advise from an agent on how to restructure the book along with an expressed desire to read my re-write. All of which is wonderful... and down right scary.

The thing about memoir is that in order to craft something worthy of seeping into other people's souls  the author must first open their own soul and cut to the bone of their life. Not easy. In fact, it's terrifying. And while I know I have this story within me, it takes guts to get ones head in a space to sit down again with nightmares of your past and ghosts of your hopes and re-write a memoir. Indeed  all writing, no matter the genre, takes such courage.

And that's the question. How much courage do I have? Enough for a simple re-write? Or enough to plunge deep into the Shadow Lands and emerge with a book that has truly changed me, and thus possesses the possibility of changing others?

Because I know what I want. I was never the girl who floated on the surface of life. Like I have said before, wanting hurts. Even holding hopes hurts sometimes. I guess that's where courage is birthed. On the edge of myself  I chose to both want and hope.

What about you? I am hopeful that this year will see something open up for my memoir. I am hopeful for your writing too, blogging friends. I know many of your dreams are the same as mine.
Hope with me?

X
Tab

31 comments:

  1. I'm in the same boat, only it's been in dry dock for a while. Thanks for the inspiring post Tabitha. Go for it!

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  2. Hi Tabitha, read your comment on T. Anne's blog. I am sure you can do it! If the book has truly changed you, then it's just a matter of time before it unfurls for the rest of the world.

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  3. Yeah, I do Wen :)

    Wendilea- hope your boat is heading where you want it to go now :)

    Rachna- thanks for visiting. I hope so :)

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  4. I'm hoping for you. ;-) I can't imagine writing a memoir. Honestly, I have no desire to revisit the hurtful parts of my life. You ARE courageous and brave. I know you can do this!

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  5. If you ever need a proof-reader, you know where I am ...

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  6. It must take an enormous amount of courage to write something so personal. Best of luck with this!

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  7. I always hope with you, my friend. Count on it.

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  8. Excited to see what comes out and the journey you take to get there. Dive in baby!!! :O)

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  9. It is a brave thing to deliberatly delve into the past and analyse what it did to you. Most of us do it and move on, so to look at it all again is going to take a great deal of strength, just remember that you can put this pain down whenever you need to have a rest, and you are NOT living it again, you are watching it from outside a window. xo

    I am plodding along with my own writing :) happy with that at the moment, but one day hope o be where you are.

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  10. I'm sure you can do it Tabitha ....give ot a try at least.

    Yvonne.

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  11. I'll be hopeful for you. I'd really love to see it happen for you b/c I truly enjoy your writing.

    I'm feelin' with you on a particular project right now.
    ~ Wendy

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  12. How much courage do you have? Precisely as much as you need. You'll get there, good lady, one word at a time.

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  13. Soul-opening post, Tab. Hmmm. I have ceded my dreams to Christ's dreams for me. And He has more than enough courage for ALL of us. Praise Him.

    Every day opens up possibilities I never imagined in my own cranial space.
    Carolyn Arends says it well in her song, "Seize the Day." "Seize the day, seize whatever you can. Cause life slips away like hourglass sand. Seize the day and pray for God's plan. And nothing will stand in your way. Seize the day."

    P

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  14. I'm very excited for you. You CAN do it.

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  15. Oh Tab, Tab, you're amazing. <3

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  16. Tabitha, I lost count of the number of times I re-wrote my memoir, and each time it was gut-wrenching and life-changing. The truth is, I don't know if you truly have a choice in this matter. This book has already been written--you just need to birth it. Get some additional help with the emotional stuff if you need to, but I know this is something you must do, just as it was something I had to do. And I have to tell you, what is waiting for you on the other side of this journey is magical.
    Karen

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  17. You can do it, and you'll never forgive yourself if you don't put your entire soul into it. Regardless of whether or not it gets published you know you will have tested and challenged yourself and done your best. That's all anyone can ask of us.

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  18. Hi, Tab:

    I have complete confidence in your willingness to dig deep, and your eloquence in presenting what you find. And your courage in sticking with it. Not that it will be easy, but that you can do it, and will be glad that you did.

    "On the edge of myself I chose to both want and hope." That's pretty much where I am right now, too, though with much less focus than you have.

    I'm so glad to be able to keep reading your thoughts, images, ideas.

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  19. Indeed writing is a very courageous endeavor!God give us strength :) Found your blog today :)

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  20. Wow, that's great to hear that there's some interest in your memoir! Let that motivate you to keep going, Tabitha! I can't wait to hear what happens with that!

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  21. I'm hoping good things for both of us this year. I believe those doors will open. You're such an amazing writer, I don't think talent like your will be overlooked for long.

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  22. I'm really excited for you about the interest in your memoir. I do hope and pray that something wonderful happens with it.
    Lyn

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  23. Thank you for all the encouragement here. I am so glad I decided that my 'nothing to say' was indeed 'something to say'.

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  24. Tabitha, your words are as strong as ever and are ringing in my heart and ears.

    It does take a lot of courage to write and a lot of people don't realize that. They think writing is easy, but really you're revealing, you're exposing yourself to the world. You're showing everyone the side of you that anyone rarely sees. The darkness, the nightmares, the shining moments, the times when you've fallen and risen up.

    I hope with you, because I'm a man of hope myself. If we didn't have hope in anything, what's the point of living?

    Write on and have the courage and the might to hold a pen in hand!

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  25. Hoping, praying, seeing it happen & believing in You!!!!!

    I can so see your dreams coming through this year my blogging friend!! :-( Good Luck!!

    Hugs & Blessings,
    Coreen

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  26. Hello
    what a wonderful visit tonight .
    Actually I began to edit the novel I wrote way back in 2005! I can not hardly remember the story. I was so amazed that I could hardly even put it down. Ha! funny when my own writing was so enthralling. Got to love it.

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  27. I hear you. Writing takes tremendous courage. I hope for you. I hope for me. That's why we keep dreaming and keep planting and keep praying for courage.

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  28. I hope things work out for you. ~Ron

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  29. Mmmmmm. Good for you. I have a buddy who has decided to surrender HOPE, for good reason, and although I WANT it differently, it isn't. HOPE and WANT. Such significant words. No matter which arena they are played, they are not easy. I sure wish they were. Best of luck on your book hon. You deserve to be heard.

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  30. Hoping with you. Believing with you.

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