Friday, June 18, 2010

The Heart of the Thing


Rejection sucks. I don't care if you have skin as thick as a rhinos butt, rejection still sucks.  It strokes our fears and pokes its ugly fingers into wounds we didn't know we had.

You aren't good enough. Talent passed you by. No one will ever think what you're doing matters. 

Those whispers can become screams. We shy away from the noise in our own heads. But rejection is not what we ultimately run from. It is the possibility that perhaps we do have what it takes and that just maybe we might have to show the world we believe in ourselves. That we may have to take the hand of another rejection and say to it, "I do not believe you."


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~ Nelson Mandela
That, my friends, is the heart of the thing. 

It is who you know you can be, not who you currently are. 


Use rejection, don't become its hand maid.


Jamie, this post is for you.
Don’t be afraid of your potential. Take the courage to follow your dreams, not what you already know or what is comfortable. You will never regret it.



40 comments:

  1. What a lovely post, Tabitha. I was feeling a little dejected today, but you really perked me up. Thanks.

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  2. I LOVE that quote. I have it on my blog. One of my all time favorites. Nelson Mendella was quite a man. Great post - so true. Rejection is part of writing, no matter where we are in the process, it will always be there - from Francine Rivers to an unpublished gal like myself.

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  3. Katie, you must surely be close to those dreams. Publishing house seriously considering your work is a very good thing :)

    Rayna, I am glad :)

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  4. In a local college publication, I read a spoof some man had written. He had taken all the cliche rejection letter phrases and used them, added his own outlandish hyperbole and snark, and created the ultimate rejection letter that was so hilarious I can never read another one without laughing.

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  5. What a great quote and inspiring post! Thank you!

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  6. Thank you for this encouraging post! We've all been there and need a reminder to not give up:)

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  7. I've never been subjected to rejection from people, just from myself when it came to writing. For so long, i was my self's own worst judge. but as i got others encouraging me, that all went away. Great quote by Nelson Mandela. And a very beautiful post too.

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  8. A wonderful post Tabitha, rejection can bring you down but it has it's up side you can use being rejected to make you a stronger person.

    Take care.
    Yvonne.

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  9. Maha, well girl considering your talent I hope you are standing behind yourself now :) Mind you , at fifteen I did not even know what standing looked like.

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  10. Excellent quote. Thoughts I will stew on today.
    ~ Wendy

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  11. What a timely message this post provided, as i sit here feeling dejected and isolated. Thank you for this inspirational post!

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  12. This is also one of my favorite quotes of all time. Thanks for reminding me of it, Tab. Rejection is just another stepping stone on the path...
    karen

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  13. Tabitha, as one who's traveled the roller coaster of publication, I can testify that you are right on, girl!!!!!

    Keep it comin'!!!

    Blessings and love,
    Patti

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  14. Oh my goodness, Tabitha. Oh my goodness.

    I think you really were meant to write this post for a reason. I can't express at what a scarily coincidental (?) time it came. I've just been in a state of despair for a few hours over the very issue you are talking about, except related to certain school happenings. I cannot describe how much your post has lifted my spirits - I'm not even exaggeration. Thank you, your words are my salvation. xxxx

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  15. Dear Tabitha, I had this link posted on my old blog before and I think your friend and other writers who feel let down will benefit or at least be inspired by it. I have this bookmarked and often refer to it whenever I feel that I am not good enough.

    http://www.examiner.com/x-562-Book-Examiner~y2009m3d20-20-famous-authors-who-were-rejected-repeatedly-and-sometimes-rudely-by-publishers

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  16. What an encouraging post! Sometimes it's hard to ever reach that peak of success if we don't believe we can make it and worse, fall victim to rejection in the meantime. Thank you for these words today!

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  17. Excellent post. Thank you. Rejection helps us get stronger... hopefully.

    I loved this sentence. It strokes our fears and pokes its ugly fingers into wounds we didn't know we had.

    You aren't good enough. Talent passed you by. No one will ever think what you're doing matters.

    Those are my biggest fears.

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  18. Thank you for the uplift to my day. That Nelson Mandela quote is worthy of remembering every day. "your playing small does not serve the world" Wow.

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  19. This is a very good true post. When i was younger, rejection used to devastate me and I would grieve about it a great deal. Now that I am older, rejection still sucks, but I let it roll off me more and just keep plodding along with the knowledge that with rejection, somewhere there is also acceptance. I guess rejection pains me more when it involves one of my kids. I care most about their happiness, security, and future well-being--when they hurt, I hurt.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  20. What a wonderful encouraging post! You make everyone else shine with your beautiful words of encouragement. And, I'm praying hard for your MS that is out. I am so thrilled and cannot wait to hear good report!

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  21. Well said. It does suck. Big time. But, anything worth having is worth fighting for.

    And, when we finally get to where we want to be -- no one can say we didn't EARN it, right???

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  22. I remind myself that the rejection letter only comes if I actually send something out. Pieces living only on my hard drive are waiting.

    "Your playing small does not serve the world."

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  23. Use rejection.......my favorite part of this post.

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  24. Although rejections hurt so terribly bad, they can spur us to be better writers. Nothing wrong with that.

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  25. Huh, I never thought about it... It's something I'll explore now. Thanks for this post, Tabitha! i know it's for Jamie, but it will get me through the next few rejects (at least).

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  26. Thank you for the inspiration,

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  27. It does take a lot of fortitute not to wilt in the face of rejection.

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  28. I love that Mandela quote! It is amazing. And you are right on regarding rejection. As one who has not had the courage to submit anything yet, I am treasuring up this advice for the day I do. :)

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  29. That's one of my favorite quotes ever. You're a lovely friend - she's lucky to have you in her corner.

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  30. Love that quote. It's so empowering!!

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  31. What a wonderful post for dealing with rejection. I haven't tried to publish a book but I know it would be difficult.

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  32. Dearest Tab - I am so humbled by your post. Thank you for thinking of me. I will take the courage to scream at my next rejection/thought of inadequacy " I do not believe you!"

    thankyou, friend :)

    - Jamie

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  33. Jamie, my pleasure. Your work is wonderful. If I could draw like that I may never write another word again :)
    Scream loudly my friend. Rejection has been known to need a very strong voice right up in its face!

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  34. Great quotation, and very timely for me.

    It's too bad there are so many people who want to throw shadow over the lights of others. We can't let them win. :-)

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  35. A wonderfully encouraging post! I love it :)

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  36. I'm so glad to have come across your blog... some very beautiful words. Rejection is probably the silent killer of all negative emotions. It festers and lingers and outstays its welcome.

    I've been going thruogh a rough patch for a few months. Your entry put a smile on my face. We all need hope... my hope lies in never letting the pen go.

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