No hair makes me very happy. One friend who saw the new style said, "I have always wanted to do that. The freedom must be amazing."
Freedom? I suppose so. Reclaimed hours hairstyling, definitely.
Freedom was not the reason I shaved my head.
When my husband first shaved my head, yes, I said the words 'husband' and 'shaved-my-head in the same sentence, I looked in the mirror and smiled.
A real smile.
"Hi there," I said. "I look like me."
I looked more like me than ever before. And it felt good. To look like me felt really good.
I have looked like hairdressers' versions of me, of magazines' ideas or what me should be.
The real me has, well, evaded me.
Now I think I look like Tab. And lately, I like her. I really do.
Sometimes I wonder about my writing.
Does it look like me?
Or does it look like the sum of Noah Lukeman's 'The First Five Pages, and other such 'writerly' advise?
And I ask myself, "What is the point of writing a story that anyone could have written?
When I get my memoir looking like me, I'll know it's time to query it. I see a faint reflection, but I am not there yet.
What about you? What is the most you have ever looked like you? Do your words look like you?
I am still trying to find the words that are me, for so long I had no words, but now I am starting to see them so watch this space.
ReplyDeleteHey Tab! I LOVE the hair (or lack thereof). The real Tab is looking good, my friend.
ReplyDeleteI do struggle with my stories looking like me and not the epitomy of 100 different craft books. It's an exhuasting, exhilierating, pull-your-hair out (errr....maybe not for you) task to get a manuscript to bare the writer's unique signature.
Wishing you well!
Katie
Oh my gosh! I love this. Yes, yes, yes. I want my story to look like me. Since I read more fiction than craft books, I pray that I'll never be the conglomeration of all the authors' voices I've admired, but that I'll have my own voice.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe your hubby cut your hair. *grin* What a man!
Oh It's awesome Tab! I knew it would suit you :D And you're right, it does make you more you than ever before, because there's nothing to hide behind.
ReplyDeleteIt's why I find guitar so much easier to do in front of others than singing, because it's just you. No excuses, no hiding.
I felt that way when I shaved my hair too. You make me want to do it again :D
It's been a while since I've shaved my head. Every now and then I get the urge.
ReplyDeleteAs for my writing? It's me. The stupid bits, the lyrical bits, the quirky bits. They're all me, since the only way I know how to write is like me. What's my voice? I don't know quite yet. But I'm finding it, word by word.
wow you are amazing! I would never shave my head! I love your analogy - sometimes I wish my writing voice was other than it is but I know it wouldn't be authentic. Authentic is good.
ReplyDeleteSorry I've been away.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great point! So many times, we look to our hair to change us. What a direct and beautiful approach.
Very slick.
ReplyDeleteIn college, I shaved my husband's head. He let me because I told him I wondered what it would be like to shave someone's head. :)
Oh my gosh. A subject close to my heart. (btw, your hair looks spiffariffic. Some women, like you, can look sensational with a short style. Me, I would look like Peter Ustinov in drag. Not good!)
ReplyDeleteI hear every word you are saying, about seeing yourself looking back from the mirror. When I was a child, my mother used to make me have my hair in just a particular (short) way that she wanted it, despite my howls. There were reasons for this, but all that is just to say, I LOVE my long hair, I may never cut it again, and when i look in the mirror, even though it's been long for some time now, it is still not at all unusual that i feel a wonderful little kick inside, a genuine joy, to see myself looking back.
But wait, like a late night television ad, there's more! I wrote in my teens and twenties, but pretty much stopped for many years after that. I was burying "me" under a huge pile of other things, not all of them bad, such as raising a child. The point is, that when i said, my life is my own now, I'm going to be me, like it or lump it, the poetry came back, better than ever.
Tabitha, it's adorable! I've always, always wished I could wear a pixie cut. And I would do it now, totally, except that I have a large scar on my ear I feel the need to hide behind hair. I'm so envious!
ReplyDeleteI do feel like I'm in my writing, like it's so me. And I love that.
Love the hair! I wore my hair super short for years! YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
ReplyDeleteYes, memoir is all about the voice and it is no easy task! I'm working on the same thing.
much love
Love your hair...it shows your eyes and the first thought I had was: Perfect, her blog is called "Through My Eyes." I'm trying to become me in my writing...but I think there is a long way to go.
ReplyDeleteI love that you want your memoir to look like you, I fully support that!
ReplyDeleteI love it!! I am the opposite, waaaay tooo much hair, I need a cut and badly. My books? They secretly do look like me. Their fiction. I'm not so sure they should, but they do ;)
ReplyDeleteKeep on being your cute self. And hurry up and sell that book! CAn't wait.
You look FABULOUS! (And I bet your writing shows you off to best advantage as well!)
ReplyDeleteI love it! You look great! I feel like I know you when I read your posts. I think they do sound distinctly like "Tab" and we're all really glad to know her! :)
ReplyDeleteYour muse always seems to be in action on these posts!
ReplyDeleteInside and out, you are such a beautiful young woman! Thanks for posting the picture!
Patti
www.pattilacy.com/blog
You look fab with your new hairdo!
ReplyDeleteLast year, I studied Creative Writing rigorously, and consequently I started drowning in "writerly advice". I lost all my enjoyment because I was focusing too much on other people's rules. I finally stopped writing altogether because everything I produced was too forced and dissatisfying. Now, I don't pay attention to anybody's writerly advice. I write what I want and how I want, and it feels like being alive. :)
I love these questions!!
ReplyDeleteI cut my hair boy short after the birth of my first child. It was alarming and fun and revealing. And I saved on conditioner like crazy!
The most I looked like me was moments after bearing each of my children. I have a picture where I'm holding my first born daughter, and grinning so wide, every single tooth is showing. That is the most I've ever looked like me.
As far as my words looking like me...hmmm. I don't know. I suppose yes, I blaze through it all somehow.
I'm 54 my dear, when I look in the mirror, I miss my old face. I'd like to cut off all my hair, but I am afraid.
ReplyDeleteI love your hair! I normally keep my hair real long but never do anything to it. My writing is the best representation of myself.
ReplyDelete-Alisa Hope
First Friday Fiction
Love the look, Tab!!
ReplyDeleteWonderful! Yes, I think my words look like me. And sometimes they are ugly!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou look fabulous with no hair Tab. I wish I were brave enough. I feel like my writing is getting more and more honest as I keep at it. My voice shows through a lot more now than it did at first. Isn't it interesting that we have to WORK to sound like ourselves?
ReplyDeleteI love seeing a bigger version of this picture of you. You are so gorgeous! There is no way that your writing will ever sound like anyone but you. Unless you wanted it to. You are that talented.
ReplyDeleteI didn't shave my head, but when I went gray and super short a few years ago, I had a similar feeling. It's still there.
Tab, I'm new to your blog so don't know how you looked before. My immediate reaction, when I first saw your photo, was that you're a beautiful woman very much at peace with yourself and, after reading a bit, you're a talented writer.
ReplyDeleteHey Tab, love the hair - it's sassy and spunky! It suits you. I on the other hand will keep my hair a bit longer to hide my ears though LOL.
ReplyDeleteSo are you going to send a pic of you with your new hair to the Footprints cover comp? I hope so!
Thanks for the comments on my blog. They made me smile. I'm glad you all liked it and didn't think it was the dumbest thing you'd ever seen a mother of two do :)
ReplyDeleteYou look great. The cropped hair really brings out your facial features - beautiful. I also went super short when my kids were little. I've decided to grow it out now, and I think it's more me, for now.
ReplyDeleteI know when my words look like me when I sit back and say, "Only I could have written it just this way." I felt it with my contest entry for Highlights for children - boys, baseball, piano lessons, music and families - the recipe of my life!