Top ten signs it is Christmas Down Under:
1. Snow is predicted for the next annual migration of flying pigs. So instead you spray paint snow flakes and frost on your windows. (True! You can buy the 'Frost Paint' in spray cans!)
2. If it cannot be cooked on a BBQ you don't buy it. Who wants to be stuck in a hot kitchen?
3. Night time is for cursing the fact that you didn't buy the house with the air conditioning system and hating you neighbour for having one. Alternatively you can toss and turn under the sweaty sheets or have a midnight shower every two-three hours. Whatever. You wont be sleeping peacefully again until June.
4. The bitumen roads have liquefied. Car tyres have melted. It is too hot to do anything. Even the dog agrees.
5. The cricket is the only thing on TV. No self respecting Aussie male would be caught dead not knowing all the cricket scores.
6. You hang out at the shops because at least they have air conditioning.
7. You go to the movies because at least they have air conditioning.
8. You decide where to have Christmas Day based on whose house has air conditioning and how high they are prepared to crank it. This is a very serious discussion. Lives are at stake!
9. You've decorated the Gum tree and hung tinsel off the palm. But the Christmas tree inside is fake and fantastic. Anything not tapped into a water supply would wilt in 10 seconds. Wilting Christmas is not your idea of lovely.
10. You pity the guy in the Santa suit. Even if he is in air conditioning. No amount of mechanical cooling can help someone in boots, thick red fabric from wrist to ankle and dozens of children clambering onto his lap.
Smile... Poor, poor guy...
Oh, and one more for my Aussie mates...
11. You know what '10 White Boomers' are and you sing it loud and you sing it proud :)
What about you? How would I know it was Christmas where you live?
[AND in important news we just bought a HOUSE!!!! We move in on the 23rd of December! Oh. My. What. Were. We. Thinking!
AND with Christmas and house packing and school holidays... I will be reducing postings to Monday, Wednesday and Friday... and growing grey hairs... or pulling them out...]